Berend Lange’s KOMPASS

“Jeder stolpert ab und zu über die Wahrheit, aber die meisten stehen wieder auf und eilen weiter, als ob überhaupt nichts passiert wäre.”

[Sir Winston Churchill] (1874 - 1965)

     Ich weiß, daß ich anders bin - ich sehe Zusammenhänge, wo andere an Zufälle glauben und bin oft blind für Dinge, die anderen ins Gesicht springen.

     Manchmal macht mir das Angst.

     Funktioniere ich nicht richtig?

     Was ist richtig denn überhaupt?

     Dabei wissen wir alle, daß die Natur sich nie wiederholt, daß wir alle einmalig sind - aber in unserer menschlichen Entwicklung sind wir zunächst eben willige und gehorsame Mitglieder einer Gruppe, während wir später selbst die Kontrolle in unserem Leben übernehmen wollen.

     Das ist ein notwendiger, aber schwieriger Übergang.

     Wenn wir an dieser Schwelle stehen haben wir Angst, wir selbst zu sein … einmalig, anders. Wir haben Angst, auch als Individuum viel Macht und sogar Erfolg zu haben. Diese Dinge haben wir ja nicht gelernt - man sagt uns, daß Übereinstimmung richtig und notwendig ist, Eigenwilligkeit falsch.

     Solange wir irgend können machen wir also Kompromisse. Wir versuchen, beides zu leben - das abhängige Stammesleben und das unabhängige persönliche Leben, so widersprüchlich und gegensätzlich sie auch sein mögen.

     Wir wollen die Zustimmung der Anderen. Wir möchten akzeptiert werden, beliebt sein. Wir wünschen uns diese und andere Annehmlichkeiten, um unsere Angst zu überwinden und uns sicherer zu fühlen. Dabei verlieren wir aber manchmal unsere Abenteuerlust und Entdeckerfreude, die uns das Infragestellen, das Streben und die Suche geben. 

     Trotzdem verliere ich darüber meinen Enthusiasmus nicht. Ich glaube ehrlich, daß ich nicht leben könnte, ohne mich für etwas zu begeistern.

     Vielleicht sollte ich auch hier im Blog mal meine Angst überwinden und über Dinge schreiben, bei denen einige das Gesicht verziehen und nicht nur zustimmend nicken - was meinst du?

     Bis dahin wünsche ich dir aber erstmal Fröhliche Ostern!

     I thought I had seen it all.

     But now we just stood there, mesmerised : right in front of St. Jakob church on the medieval paving in the old town of Villach, a young man - alone, totally absorbed - played his guitar and at the same time juggled an array of electronic devices with his feet, making some really beautiful instrumental music. Multiple instruments, mind you!

     The contrast to his venerable surroundings couldn’t be bigger. He turned out to be an Australian in Austria and personally handcrafted his unusual four-string guitar from an old, precious piece of piano. He composes his music as he plays along and sells it on CDs.

     An unconventional fellow, like many others we saw at Villach’s annual StreetArt Festival last week : very friendly, utterly passionate about what they do, and very non-conformist. I like people like that.

     For adults it takes courage, though, to be different and stick out from the crowd - I wonder why sometimes.

     After all, it’s a fact that we are all different - nobody is exactly like anyone else, not even ‘identical’ twins. And that’s a good thing : just imagine how boring life would be if we were all the same.

     If it is natural to be different, why are most of us afraid to show and express our uniqueness?

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     Have you seen “A Beautiful Mind” with Russell Crowe?

     The film is based on a true story about a brilliant mathematician coming to grips with schizophrenia, and it won four Academy Awards in 2001.

     I’ve seen it a second time last week and was again captivated not only by Crowe’s performance, but especially by the fascinating illustration of how powerful the human mind is.

     While Professor Nash teaches at a famous American university, he is approached by secret service agents to decipher a code which the enemies of democracy use for their subversive activities, threatening national security. For years he works with the agents, exploring millions of connections and possibilities to uncover the mystery - until his wife finds out about his hidden life and supports him on the way out of the mess.

     It turns out that all the persons involved in the undercover plot are totally fictitious, they only existed in the Professor’s mind - so real for him, that he had developed a complete second identity around his scenario. His weird behaviour under these circumstances was obviously labeled ‘madness’ by his ‘normal’ peers - and yet he won a Nobel Prize for his academic work a few years later.

     Genius and madness are close neighbours, they say - assuming for a minute that you and I don’t fall into either of these categories, what is the lesson for ‘normal’ people here? As far as I’m concerned, I show more consideration for the unusual conduct of people these days.

     Who am I to judge others for things I don’t understand? I know that I have some blind spots, and may be that odd fellow I saw in the mall yesterday is a genius working out the quadrature of the circle.

     What’s more, I am reminded that I, too live in my own world - like you do in yours.

     A lot of things occupy my mind every day which directly influence my actions because I am absolutely convinced that they are perfectly sensible.

     Most of the time you wouldn’t find strange what I do, I suppose, but I am sure that some people wonder who the fool is that spends an hour on a perfect Sunday afternoon writing articles like this.

     What’s on your mind? Do you want to be president of your bowling club? Climb Mount Kilimanjaro? That’s OK, but I personally couldn’t be bothered.

     The point is that we are who we think we are, literally. I am not a professor, and I don’t want to win the Nobel Prize - but I want to write and that’s OK, too. Who knows, may be they’ll give me the Pulitzer Prize one of these days - call me crazy.